Monday, May 2, 2016

A Little Different Kind Of Post-

I am veering away from my normal posts to post about something exciting.  My husband and I are adopting!

We are adopting a sibling group-  a girl and a boy, ages 7 and 6.  They are adorable and we are over the moon excited.  They are SLOWLY transitioning into our home.  If you have read the other blog post about our previous adoption experience, you know it was horrific. This time, while it is challenging at times, we are positive we will have these two kiddos join our family!

A couple thoughts for you, however, especially if you know us and will be associating with our kids.

** Please don't tell them they are "lucky." ***
I cringe when adults tell them that they are lucky.
Consider this:
Their mother is not capable of raising them.  They know her, and love her- yet she is unable to care for them.  This is not "lucky"

They are loosing the only family they have ever known to join ours.  This is LOSS.  This is so hard. Even though we tell them they will still see them and know them, How can these kids really know this?  This is not "lucky"

They watched their Great Grandmother and caretaker die of cancer.  This is very unlucky.
They are loosing their school.
They are loosing their friends.
They are loosing EVERYTHING to join our family.  How is this "lucky?"

I know and you that is not entirely true, but YOU have a much different perspective, as an adult, than they do at 7 and 6.  They don't know these things and it sure feels like LOSS to them.  And LOSS is never "lucky"

I know what you are trying to say when you tell them how lucky they are, but saying that is only recognizing something that is good (and extremely scary) in their lives.  Please take a moment to consider all of their LOSS-

Compassion is so much more important.  Instead of telling them how "lucky" they are,

Maybe consider using the word LOVED instead.

"You guys are so LOVED" instead of "You guys are so LUCKY"

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